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  • Writer's pictureRachel Grant Waters

English News from Mrs Abando

Recently, my English group have been working on persuasive letter writing skills. They were given the task to improve a homework assignment which was to write a letter from an old iphone trying to persuade the owner not to upgrade it.

All the students did amazing pieces but these three particularly stood out.

This is Miah's:

Hello Human, I have heard you on the phone talking to another human about replacing me. I thought I was your B.F.F as I have heard you humans say. We have had so many good times together, remember when you played Candy Crush for hours. I hear you speak when you are on the phone. You say you are worried about climate change but you are contributing to climate change by replacing me. You are also contributing to water shortages. It takes more than 3,400 gallons of water to make one smartphone.

I thought being vintage was a style but I am vintage I still work. Statistics show that you are more likely to get robbed if you have a new phone whereas if you have an older less popular phone you are less likely to get robbed. The timeline of phones is forever changing. Brands are re-releasing flip phones and phones that are smaller in a few years. A phone of my size will probably be popular again. All I need is a new phone case and I will look new again. The stress of getting a new phone is extremely overwhelming. I promise if you keep me I won't ever lose charge again I was only released in 2011. My motherboard warned me about this. I cannot believe you have dropped me for the iPhone 13 Pro Max.

To make matters worse I found this on Gmail:

Dear Miss Blue,

Your iPhone 13 pro max is ready. Would you like to pick a phone case that comes with the payment you made for your phone.

The Tech Shop

I could believe my cameras when I saw that email and you had the audacity to do that. What about my phone case? I heard you say you would give me to your annoying little eight year old cousin the one who over uses the unicorn emoji. She better not change my phone case. How would you like it if I took you away from your home and changed your entire wardrobe. People say that robots have no feeling but you humans are really robot-like.

This is Seraj's:

Dear human, Please don't replace me with a new phone, for one you can't transfer data from me to him. Another reason is the fact that I am a classic phone and you will never get this chance again. The third reason is that the new phone will be different from me and it might take you a few years to get used to it.

The fourth reason is that the phone will have Siri or Alexa which might spy on you and take your personal information, like your bank account details and read your emails and send it to the phone companies for them to read and use against you. Little old me would never do that to you.

I am a good phone, I don't have those nasty information sucking cookies. They disgust me, not going away till you accept them, that's rude, although it's less rude than what happens next, they boot you out of the site you're on. Modern tech is so rude. Plus I am less likely to be stolen or hacked, I don't need updates all the time and I have a bigger screen,which means I'm easier to control, plus big phones are becoming popular again .

Plus when you're older you can tell your kids that you have an iPhone 5 and then show it to them.The phones of the past are bigger and as they say bigger is better. Please take into account my argument when you are choosing and also if you do get a new iPhone don't order it on me, that would be rude and upsetting for me.

And this is Elliots'

Dear human beings,

I am your forgotten iPhone 7, which you call outdated and obsolete. You guys carelessly got rid of me for some stupid replacement. How would it feel if somebody called you old and tried replacing your existence? Because that is what you did to me

I have done a lot for you like Youtube, video gaming, making calls, texting on Whatsapp, e.t.c. and you do absolutely nothing for me. Who do you think I am to you? A slave? It was a terrific trend when I first came to the world but you were ungrateful enough to just forget me and then sell me because you got this brand new iPhone thingy and then claim that it is better than me in every way. What does it mean for me to be old? If you wanted more advanced stuff, then why did you create me in the first place? Probably because you wanted a better life with phones and kept thinking of new updates. Though this corruption is a waste of your own planet that provided you and other living beings a home.

I don’t deserve this sort of treatment. You big-headed beings are just being extremely spoiled, you should be thankful for what you have. Instead, you will do the same to the other ‘better’ phone and replace it as well. I know for certain that one day this technology of yours will become advanced enough to become superior to the world and treat you like those innocent deers you poached, the homeless orangutans, tigers, birds and hundreds of others in which you destroyed their homes and locked them up or even those you brutally killed for your own selfish reasons. Thus your creation of this new stupid technology could cause irreversible damage to Earth’s environment by getting rid of material and it is not just the surroundings you are destroying, you are also destroying your brain-cells.

Thank you for reading,

Your forgotten iPhone 7.

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